You are worth more than many sparrows

We witnessed the making of this giant mural - a human tiered cake of the system (otherwise referred to as the tower of babel) and saw parts of what it took to make long time-lapse videos. In this case it took a week and around 3-4 different cameras all operated by Giacomo, not to mention all the tools/machinery required to paint this on the side of a building. Ozmo, the artist, says everything here like a giant mirror of Italy. Looking back and looking at this, I think both of them made a masterpiece. Find this at Macro in Via Nizza, Rome.

The dust may have settled. There is still so much to be done at least for me and the work that waits every morning for its turn, waits still with others. I like to think that I am not alone in this quest for completion. Everyday is still a chance and every now is someplace else than where we were before.

Learning Curve

Once again we are at the crossroads with just a few week/s left before we leave Pesaro *tear*. Moving is an art and maybe it takes a lifetime to master because honestly, I've still got boxes to unpack and damn I should've taken Tamsin's word for it.

Always and always the same two words in my head, "Pack light."
Two days ago I saw a crate-full of magazines (travel, interior design) at the trash and seriously stood there and reflected... and let go..

Summer has been a seriously busy month. Can't say it was unpleasant or super BUT, and I mean this in all ways, full of learning. And much more learning awaits! While I've been busily finishing projects and freelancing I've also made a point to get back into study and learning. Not quite knowing where to invest my full energy on with the many passions I have and buffering the frustration of not being able to fulfill them, I must learn, I must expose myself to the elements and hope that over time some form of mastery will come of it.

Thankfully there are things like Coursera and Skillshare to fuel the curious learner in you. I've signed up for several classes come September and October (my official "vacation" period. I do think learning is FUN). and I would so love to organize google hangouts with you or anyone who plan on taking some of the free online courses to discuss and exchange notes/homework. :) geek out with me?

Oh, and to all new readers - welcome, Welcome!
To those who've been following for a while now, sorry for the lack of presence lately. I assure you I haven't gone off-the-grid (although I like the idea). I'm still passionate about sharing my love for people, art, travel - making things happen with others. SO you bet I'll be around and hopefully more often soon.

Stay in touch.

Love,
Kat

2nd day of Yoga. feeling rusty

Word of warning, personal bits coming in a few..
I suppose its the cold and being indoors for too long thats making me come face to face with myself and all of those things we'd rather brush off, hoping it'll take care of itself. After giving birth I've gone through a total life change (as do all new parents, mothers). I've never felt so much love for another human being and so much responsibility at the same time - its almost scary. No words can fully describe its beauty. Yes, many challenges yet many surprises and new discoveries too.

So, where were we? That thing I'd been brushing off? Its me. I feel like I've been neglecting myself.

To be honest, its actually been nice not having to put on makeup or care much about the way I look for the last couple of months. I'm less self-conscious and thats a load off my mind and allows me to perform other things like work and being a mom with ease. My baby guru teaches me to live in the moment all the time - every wail, every diaper change, every giggle, each of his wriggly toes mesmerizing me and putting my mind off silly things like getting a haircut. He helps me focus on what matters. That being said, I think I matter and lately I've been feeling a bit lost, a bit elsewhere, waiting to come back to earth and inhabit my body once again.

Alison, an expat like me, wonderful being living in Tuscany, had this 30 days 2 change 1 thing program and I've been wanting to participate but couldn't nail down that one thing (I had several things in mind). I finally decided that doing yoga everyday for 30 days would do me good. Why? Its me making time with my body, giving it back some love and respect, and just being quiet with myself without judgement - peace is the word, I think. :) Its my 2nd day today and boy do I feel rusty.
A very quick report here.

And if anyone shares this dream of living sustainably in an open-mind/heart community, you'll be pleased to find out that it exists in reality. My friends in the Philippines are making it happen. Take a look and share your thoughts/dreams if you like.

Cold Frog

Its that time of the year. Play the song and sing la la la la

suddenly we're here

We've crossed over to... 2012! What can I say, I hardly had any time to brace myself for (last) christmas let alone new year but here we are and there it was. Wella flew in from Abu Dhabi and spent some time with us during the holidays. A bit of Marche countryside action, fresh cool breeze filled our lungs, my throat was out of order but all the better to keep the silence and allow the rest of the world to resume the flow. Abandon all sense of control and notice how it all goes on anyway, even without you. Free we are indeed.

To Wella and to all seekers of the world, your calling will take you anywhere you want to go. The line goes on and on and on and on... Much love and light to you all and a great new year!

Painted Portraits

I recently had the opportunity to photograph someone's collection of paintings. There were sooo many and mostly big (showing just a few here). I think the time and technique it takes to create just one of these is.. Mastery. But then I'm just not the kind of artist who does (or can do) this sort of thing. I find myself a bit of a raggedy pauper standing beside such work with my mouth open, awed. Anyone whos a bit contemporary or should I say "as of 2011 soon-to-be 2012" would have seen or cared very little about paintings like these or classic art in general. Its not just "dated", its also hidden away in someone else's collection, or covered behind the walls of a museum, rarely to be seen in public (because who goes to musuems anymore anyway), fading away in silence only to be remembered in books and forgettable pieces of paper. Where do they exist in realms such as the internet for example? I'm here (there) bearing witness to figures frozen in frames, a different time and space. Once they sat and looked and someone looked back and painted.

Fall into Fall

It was a good day. Took a walk outside with the little one and Fra, enjoying the best moments of this season. Also got to wear this poncho hand-me-down from a neighbor -that plus Fra's old pair of green jeans and my brown boots, well.. It just felt so easy and relaxed and.. Scarborough Fair

If your getting into the mood as well, here's a wallpaper I made with the photos I took today. Free to download! Enjoy :)

Waiting Game

Isn't it in everyones highschool memory - a classroom of bored kids, not one raising their hand when the teacher raises a question? Ok, so maybe one or two achievers will take the chance and give it a go -but only when their absolutely certain they got the right answer. The rest, even those who know the answer, just wont.

But what about situations with no exit, situations that require you to choose, to pass the exam, to cross the bridge? Most people still prefer to take the last turn, skirting the edges like they could avoid it, pretending its not happening until it does and when it really does, it happens. and then its over. it wasn't so bad afterall.

I call it the waiting game. The futile passing of time, the avoidance of truth, the resistance to accept what is there, and the dark cloud of nostalgia playing repeat scenes of things that just aren't happening anymore - now. One such case is a close acquaintance that just really annoys me with looong extended discussions over the past and wishes without taking any real action in making them happen. It ticks me off more than normal, like an inactive volcano suddenly billowing dark smoke.

Perhaps the pregnancy is making me less and less tolerant. Knowing well that the impending birth of my baby is inevitable and unavoidable, I find it appaling to have someone complain about the slightest discomfort (or non-discomfort). If after a while it starts to sound like whining, I'll really have to contain myself or I'll have to bluntly have them shape up soon or I'll be forced to inflict physical harm.

I've always been a peace-loving, tree-hugging, spiritual junkie type but these days I'm sharpening my wits, getting ready for the last phase of this creation story in my belly. I've never been more honest and frank before and it actually feels good to just get it out there, have the world take it as it is - its big and strong enough to handle it anyway.

So thats it. Dissapointment is part of not getting what you want, but thats normal, it happens and it ought to happen. How boring to have everything going perfectly well all the time - you'll thank life for that later, I'm sure.

Defence

I came across this argument: humans need to be exposed to a certain degree of harmful chemicals, toxic waste, etc to help raise their defences. as an animal, we often forget how amazingly adaptive our bodies are and as the environment changes over time, so do we. - well, I don't know if going back to smoking at this point will help raise my defences for an increasingly polluted world (but I do know that many can use that argument) however, I do remember how the europeans rendered the tribes a "lesser species" (look up eugenics) because of how they literally wiped them out by bringing western disease. while immunity is important, prevention is still better than cure. at this point, raising consciousness works as better defence than voluntarily swimming in the muck.
or should we all just jump in?

honesty and choosing which bits matter

For a while in the blog-sphere it was all about honesty and just being brutally in your face, the truth as it escapes from your gut whether as bile or smoke or smut (hey that rhymes). and just leaving it out there like some kind of conceptual art - pay no heed as to what damage it might cause to tender souls raised with tact and if it does invite a tear or two, or better yet - shock the bejeezus out of em', all the better.

The Glass Eye Maker

A nice break from work is looking into other people's work. How nutty to imagine doing one single thing, master it and work it for 30 years. Its so atopic at this age that anyone left doing this kind of monk-like vocation stand like true gems against the mass of changelings. I'm not saying they should be worshipped, just admired even from afar. At least, allow their life testament to disturb you enough to consider other possibilities. Note to self.

Now lets get back to The Blind Assassin.

Peter o'Toole is so cool. Omar Sharif is the chief.

I'm not a clean freak. No, I guess I thrive in an environment thats not exactly in order, may seem chaotic for most people but it works for me. Coming into terms with the less attractive aspects of myself isn't my cup of tea, but as the days turned months just slowly moved past me - a growing lump on my throat from all the challenges/projects I took on last year that now demand completion, I am really and certainly not in order.

Sea Broth and Flame

Outside, the sun is rising somewhere behind the grey. Its all moist and smoke for the first few minutes, then a bit later some figment of white/yellow rises above the sky. In a matter of seconds, the outline of the surrounding hills become visible. First the Basilica, then the trees forming a rim around -what appears to be- a giant bowl of fog. Or witch's broth.

Casette is Dead

I think! --Beta Version

*blink blink*

How dare you persecute me when I start a sentence with "I think". Its not enough to look away just because I lack references. Them, the referred, referring other referrals, in this long sequence of he said/she said that goes all the way back to the beginning of time -or documentation, the printing press, gossip? One idea led to the next, got passed down to the children and so forth. SO, aside from the tried and tested ideas-turned-facts (e.g. gravity, science) are we now completely incapable of manufacturing our own ideas on things? So everything can be explained through science, and if anyone feels sad about that fact, they just consult a psychologist and get themselves FIXED? Nobody seems to remember how everything that has been conceived began in the human brain as a mere musing by its first thinker/artist. Sure hard work followed but it wasn't the work that defined the concept, though it helped refine it.

Little brave tooth saves the day

BACK with a toothache from hell. I'm to blame. A week of crunching into all sorts of nuts and dried wolf-berries and trying all sorts of combinations of curry, spicy, gingery, Singaporean fusion madness. My tooth has been complaining. A bit softly last week, and now screaming.

Letter from the Apartment

Dearest Kat,
What have you been doing lately? I see you from a distance and what I see is blurry. Are you really there or am I just imagining things? It rained really hard today for the first time since you landed. It made everything around look bluish. The winds blew and it was good. Speaking of which, some of the indoor plants need to be watered except for the cactus which requires watering only once a month. Also, the singing bowl has been sitting quietly beside the bed for some time and some books on the desk are waiting to meet you. Have you thanked the windows lately? They've been so generous with light in the last week. Light, by the way, warms your bed in the afternoons while your at work, effectively cheering up the sheets in their state of disarray. Some things you might not care to notice while you get lost in the motions but it doesn't take much to pause, regroup, and reitinerate (by the way, I invented that word. It means to reconsider itineraries). Everyone appreciates a bit of acknowledgement. And anyone acknowledged is another beam of light through that window. So don't forget to water the plants and hug the sheets.


Love,
Apartment

Insert Title Here

** Notepad rambles sometime after quitting my job, getting married, and being alone again - around December 2009 **

Overlay

Lets go back to the time when waiting was an art and everything in between now and then was the main story and not otherwise. Lets learn the value of spaces and remember its necessity especially in moments desperate for punctuation. Boredom is mold on old toast (once upon a time you set it aside and promised you'd fulfill its purpose). We, naturally flawed and ever the work-in-progress, confusing the words FLOW and FOLLOW believing they're interchangeable, making a big mess whenever we can, utilizing our ignorance. It is because of this that I am generously yearning. Or, my yearning is abundant and it pulls on my hair, my memory, my patience. I say, the moon is to blame. and I know the blame is useless.

I sit and cradle my arms. Mothering in silence.

Sweetness

Sometimes I think adult life is all about armory and kevlar, the thickening of the skin, the fattening of that layer of lipids, that dam holding the rich red life we hold so dear. Children couldn't care less and so do the elderly among us, well, some of them at least. Now and then in our daily interactions, sometimes violent collisions, our skin breaks and when it leaks, it bleeds. Nothing tragic, really. We've all bled at some point and blood is something so common among bodies. Its just our focused attention to clothing that makes us forget.