Monday, August 24, 2009

Pain and Creativity = Bondage ¿




Photography by Nobuyoshi Araki

Tummy rumbles don't always mean trips to the toilet. Sometimes it means something inside wants to go out, to be born into the world. Does it have to be a baby? No, it could be a fart - for all we know. And thats just fine. Its just release. Liberation. Freedom. The sweet taste of it.


For some days-turned-weeks-turned month? Months? Can't remember as time is becoming more vague as I continue to retreat into the deep dark recesses of my soul - mind - whatever. Basically, I'm broke. What I'm doing is conducting alchemical experiments (distractions or shifts of focus) to alleviate my circumstance. There can only be self-nominated victims, and I'm not one of them.

Fortunately, my creativity has reached a new high since these difficult times. It worries me sometimes, the thought that difficulty might be a requirement for creation. Should I look forward to suffering then? YAY pain! Stab me right there and hit hard! gosh... It doesn't have to be so perverse. Then again..

This reminds me of something a good friend of mine told me about bondage. He broke down that whole hullaballoo about S&M - Slave and Master. and it turns out to be quite simple, and essentially human in nature.

The Master isn't really the Master in S&M but the Slave. Yes. The Slave is the Master. Without the royal subjects, who can be king? The slave defines what it means to win, it provides the basis for measurement, comparison.

In art, a single dot in an empty canvass is but a single dot signifying nothing other than - HELLO I'M A DOT. so what? but add another dot and suddenly theres a relationship. A line can be constructed by connecting the two dots, or one dot could be bigger than the other - making the other dot SMALL. A sudden flow of data, of adjectives! Small slightly darker dot and the bigger slightly lighter dot, etc.

**Astral projection ends and back to the body **
So whats this all have to do with being broke and creativity bouts? Nothing other than fear for an uncertain future that can hurt just as much as it has already and the wish that it might just be as ecstatic as it also has already. Wondering if balance is such a lofty goal and even then, if its something worth pining for. So... I guess.. Lets just hang in there space cowboys and bebop girls. We're riding onnnnn! *spank!*

2 comments:

i-CLD said...

Broke is temporary. Poor is of eternal. (from 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad')
:p

i just got present to the mindsets of artists like ourselves. we do create, and i suppose what we don't usually notice is how powerful our creations can be. they show up not only in paper or canvas but in our everyday reality. i have a hunch that the source of your broke-ness is simply the manifestation of the world aligning to your potential (same way it went for myself). your current situation is a set up for triumph. without this state, there won't be any space for the success to manifest in. without this state, you will not be able to measure how much you have accomplished or have grown. it doesn't have to be painful in a way that is disempowering. before a butterfly can fully grow into being, it must go through a (rather painful) process where it would have to squeeze itself out of a tough cocoon so that the water in its body can inflate the wings. What helped me the most while i was going through the same thing as you are was to think and believe that what i was going through then was simply the time where i was inflating my wings, so that i could fly. :)

much love. you are awesome!

-tif

Eunoia said...

Thanks tiffy... its always good to have friends turn your head around to see the other side. haha =D

and thanks for getting me present to Rich Dad, Poor Dad again! too true.. dang i should hang with you iCLD peeps more often. and maybe talk some more about history and fringe and order pizza. =)

miss you and tao! btw, her performance last Tori Night was absolutely mind-blowing. love you guys! *huggles*

Kat

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