thu 1:53am

in the face of sea, or of the shore where my feet can go and sink in the wet sand and occasionally get covered with froth, in the face of what i always thought was God or holy, something that would immediately transport my body-mind into this space of blessedness and appreciation and quiet that everything that was complex and laced with errors would, by some magic means, dissapear, as if dreamt or imagined and then forgotten, washed away gently into the horizon

Why being away only brings me closer

Baraha ng Pilipino: Arcana Mayor (Tarot of the Filipino: Major Arcana) by Brenda Fajardo

"To create reality, an artist must first have the force to kill it. But instantly, the fragments draw together again, in love with each other, seeking one another, coming together with desire, with the obscure presentiment of the new life to which they are destined." - Francesco de Santis

Other Views from Elsewhere

Work from 2008's show Other Views from Elsewhere. Postcards between the lovers Maria and Pepito.

Part 1 (front and back of postcard)

I think! --Beta Version

*blink blink*

How dare you persecute me when I start a sentence with "I think". Its not enough to look away just because I lack references. Them, the referred, referring other referrals, in this long sequence of he said/she said that goes all the way back to the beginning of time -or documentation, the printing press, gossip? One idea led to the next, got passed down to the children and so forth. SO, aside from the tried and tested ideas-turned-facts (e.g. gravity, science) are we now completely incapable of manufacturing our own ideas on things? So everything can be explained through science, and if anyone feels sad about that fact, they just consult a psychologist and get themselves FIXED? Nobody seems to remember how everything that has been conceived began in the human brain as a mere musing by its first thinker/artist. Sure hard work followed but it wasn't the work that defined the concept, though it helped refine it.

Little brave tooth saves the day

BACK with a toothache from hell. I'm to blame. A week of crunching into all sorts of nuts and dried wolf-berries and trying all sorts of combinations of curry, spicy, gingery, Singaporean fusion madness. My tooth has been complaining. A bit softly last week, and now screaming.

Letter from the Apartment

Dearest Kat,
What have you been doing lately? I see you from a distance and what I see is blurry. Are you really there or am I just imagining things? It rained really hard today for the first time since you landed. It made everything around look bluish. The winds blew and it was good. Speaking of which, some of the indoor plants need to be watered except for the cactus which requires watering only once a month. Also, the singing bowl has been sitting quietly beside the bed for some time and some books on the desk are waiting to meet you. Have you thanked the windows lately? They've been so generous with light in the last week. Light, by the way, warms your bed in the afternoons while your at work, effectively cheering up the sheets in their state of disarray. Some things you might not care to notice while you get lost in the motions but it doesn't take much to pause, regroup, and reitinerate (by the way, I invented that word. It means to reconsider itineraries). Everyone appreciates a bit of acknowledgement. And anyone acknowledged is another beam of light through that window. So don't forget to water the plants and hug the sheets.


Love,
Apartment

From Italy to Singapore - Life is Beautiful

This won't be a report of all the amazing things I found and the mind-blowing experiences I've had in Italy, nor will it be a reflection on my first travel experience abroad, how I was in denial and in shock, and how fast it all was before I moved elsewhere again, back home in Manila with a day to pack and the next moment in Singapore, excited with a runny nose, warm with fever, managing to reassemble my atoms to its proper positions - no, not about any of that. =)

Insert Title Here

** Notepad rambles sometime after quitting my job, getting married, and being alone again - around December 2009 **

Overlay

Lets go back to the time when waiting was an art and everything in between now and then was the main story and not otherwise. Lets learn the value of spaces and remember its necessity especially in moments desperate for punctuation. Boredom is mold on old toast (once upon a time you set it aside and promised you'd fulfill its purpose). We, naturally flawed and ever the work-in-progress, confusing the words FLOW and FOLLOW believing they're interchangeable, making a big mess whenever we can, utilizing our ignorance. It is because of this that I am generously yearning. Or, my yearning is abundant and it pulls on my hair, my memory, my patience. I say, the moon is to blame. and I know the blame is useless.

I sit and cradle my arms. Mothering in silence.